MondayThe only party in town is the Chinese Communist Party with visitors reporting how basically boring is Beijing in August.
Apart from the murder of a tourist or the prospect of free rides in armored personnel carriers to mystery destinations if you step out of line, there's not much going on outside the games venues. Party pooped.
This limits the opportunities for public silliness otherwise encouraged in games cities like Sydney and Athens: one big party times two. You get the impression Beijing is like a not very cool club with too many bouncers and bad ventilation.
Elsewhere and feeling a bit left out, Russia sets about scaring the bejesus out of everyone who wasn't glued to the games that leaves out the President of the United States who, from all appearances, much rather wanted to be at the beach volleyball rather than dealing with some pesky problem with the caucus or somethin'.
Tuesday
Scientists almost unveil an invisibility cloak, saying nanotechnology allows for a material to bend light in three dimensions, whatever that means.
This immediately has tabloid TV current affairs shows and celebrity magazines in turmoil, as if all those lawyers banging on about privacy laws wasn't bad enough.
Everyone from celebrities without makeup to shonky auto-electricians will get off the hook using a simple invisibility cloak.
Politicians also immediately see the implication of this announcement and the opportunities. Press conferences will end when an MP says so simply by donning the cloak and shutting up. No more being chased down the street just because you've left you're driver waiting in the car park overnight.
Wednesday
Two headlines say it all, "Trade pain as cash-strapped Canberrans avoid shops" has citizens counting their pennies and avoiding "discretionary spending'', while "Discount store war begins next month" points out a whole bunch of big floor shops will open in Fyshwick soon.
Such a commanding new Canberra entry statement at that end of town inspires suggestions for a new town slogan, "Just one more bargain".
Thursday
The "outlook bias" turns to a softening in interest rates. Which has employees in direct factory outlets hoping they'll actually have jobs to start at when the shops are supposed to open next month. It's a bit rude losing your job before it begins.
Treasury officials agree, and they're also looking forward to the new stores opening because they like a good deal just like anyone else, maybe more so ...
University life takes a twist with proposals for new drinking spots in shipping containers, including accommodation. This coincides with new research (new?) confirming having a few drinks makes not just the opposite sex more attractive, but your own as well. It also turns out that it makes living in shipping containers more attractive too.
Friday
At last, news that Bigfoot has been found - or at least a very convincing bag of fur in a freezer with an ape face that looks like it's straight out of the fancy dress shop.
Bigfoot wakes from his frozen slumber to announce its run as an independent for the US presidency, and saying it's not going to let someone like Putin or Medvedev invade Georgia and get away with it.
Tracking polls give the candidate an immediate and healthy 15 per cent of the vote in the Appalachians and similar demographies that usually don't bother none with votin'.
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