Rebecca McConnell has spent more time on planes, planning a wedding and recovering from illness than she has on her bike in the past four months.
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But the Canberra mountain bike star is determined to rediscover the fight required to be an international contender as she sets her sights on the Gold Coast Commonwealth Games.
McConnell (nee Henderson) will race at the national downhill series at Mt Stromlo on Saturday and Sunday in one of her final warm-up events before the Games begin.
She is aiming to equal or better the bronze medal she won in Glasgow four years ago, but a hectic schedule took its toll and drained her love of cycling in recent months.
The 26-year-old married fellow mountain biker Dan McConnell at the end of December and has since been on trips to Spain, New Zealand and South Africa to launch her season.
"This year I've definitely had a lot of second thoughts about how much I love racing or if I still do love it," Rebecca McConnell said.
"I think that's normal when you're exhausted and run down, getting sick and travelling. There's nothing worse than racing when you don't want to race.
"I was quite down for a couple of months. It was rough. But I think I've found [the love] again, my body feels good. I still need that deep fight to dig in when you're in a hole."
The McConnells have signed a deal to join Spanish team Primaflor Mondrake for the mountain bike season and will compete on the World Cup circuit.
Dan McConnell has withdrawn from the Canberra Off Road Cyclists-run series in the capital this weekend to give his body more time to recover for the Games.
Rebecca finished 15th at the World Cup event near Cape Town two weeks ago and found the "deep hurt" she says she needs to be a Commonwealth Games contender.
"Being on the road for six months a year takes a toll, but we're lucky to be doing it together. We won't be doing it forever, so we want to enjoy it and not do it half-arsed," McConnell said.
"I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to South Africa, but when you do pull it together ... you know you want to strive for those [high] goals.
"If I stop [riding] now, I don't think I could deal with that. Because I know I'm capable of so much more. I've made a few changes this year and I think if I found my best, I'll be pretty happy."
The cross country racing at Mt Stromlo will start at 8.30am on Saturday, with elite, junior and masters categories. The finals will be held on Sunday.
