Tommy Murphy had a simple proposition for his friends and family: return your same-sex marriage survey form and he'll replace it with a long-overdue wedding invitation.
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The acclaimed playwright is one of tens of thousands of Australians with part of their lives on hold - waiting on next month's release of results from the government's postal survey and hoping a swift change to the law will follow.
Recognised for work on the stage and screen and with credits including Holding the Man, Mark Colvin's Kidney and Strangers in Between, Queanbeyan-born Murphy last week posted a request on social media, hoping to be able to marry his partner of more than 17 years, Dane Crawford.
The result isn't guaranteed, he has warned, and every vote will count.
"In 2011, after more than a decade together, Dane and I found ourselves with the only document on earth that testified our commitment to each other. It was signed and formalised, but it was a mortgage agreement with a bank," Murphy said.
"That just didn't seem right. Where was our chance for a public celebration of love – not just our love but also the nurturing love that had surrounded us since we met in 2000?"
He considered the question as the couple painted walls and ripped up carpet in their Sydney home.
"Dane ducked off to the hardware store and I knew I had to do it.
"I nervously rang his parents and asked permission. I painted a big 'Will you marry me?' on the bedroom wall in a shaky hand.
"He got back, thought I was joking, and then burst into tears. Then he painted 'Yes'."
Now six years later, and after the deaths of his father and sister, Murphy is well past ready to see friends dancing at his wedding.
As the Australian Bureau of Statistics reminds Australians to send back survey responses before the November 7 deadline, the 38-year-old said the poll's impact had surprised him.
"I underestimated the dim mood that would descend on my household and among my friends.
"This unnecessary survey has rekindled past traumas for many people. Voices that claim we are lesser have been amplified."
From local theatre productions in Canberra as a teenager to success around the world, Murphy's work has been caught up in the politics of the debate.
He felt personally rocked by an attack against a production of Holding the Man in Sydney in August and fears for young Australians struggling with their sexuality during the heated debate.
"After this survey, we will have pause to think beyond the symbolism of marriage to greater matters of equality in Australia," he said.
"The churches cry out about their freedoms under attack. Let's have that conversation. What about their tax exemptions and their freedom to sack queer employees, their exclusion of women."
After the UK's Brexit vote and the shock US presidential election, Murphy's head and heart are split on the result.
"I'm reading that 2 million people under the age of 35 haven't got that envelope off the kitchen bench into a post box.
"That apathy fills me with dread, and we're in an age of the redundant opinion poll anyway.
"You'd have to expect the shy-no-vote will be in the mix but my heart tells me we'll be dancing in the streets on November 15.
"I'll be very grateful to those, queer and straight, who have worked so hard for this campaign."
