Why it's ok for women to be sexual creatures at any age

I thought I was just about over the fallout from the story about the pornographic website that pretty much hunted down women and young girls. Don't get me wrong, by over I mean still outraged, but so many people had said all the things I wanted to say, that I thought I wouldn't have to write another word.

And then I saw Catherine Manning's post on Facebook. Ms Manning has a daughter at Kambrya College in Berwick, Victoria, one of the 71 schools, along with five here in Canberra, targetted by the pornography ring.

Ms Manning wrote about her outrage, and that of her daughter's, when the girls in years 7 to 10 were hauled into a meeting at the school and apparently told they needed to check the length of their skirts, for boys are distracted by their legs, to "protect their integrity".

As the story unfolded, the principal of the school spoke of a misunderstanding at the assembly but admitted the uniform policy had been discussed, saying it was never the intention that the two issues become linked.

Whichever way this story has panned out, it's highlighted to me what a precarious position our young women are in. On the one hand we're telling them it's ok to be confident, sexual creatures, but on the other hand don't be a slut.

Which is why I also welcomed the arrival of a book, Doing It: Women tell the truth about great sex. It's a celebration of female sex and sexuality in all its forms. Edited by Karen Pickering, the creator and host of Cherchez la Femme, an unapologetic feminist talkshow about culture and current affairs, it brings together some of the best female writers in Australia. Emily Maguire, Amy Gray, Van Badham, Clem Bastow and Fairfax's own Jenna Price, who warned me prior about her contribution. That woman has written about her vagina more times than anyone I know.

Pickering and her contributors ask all sort of probing questions. Can I use the word probing in this context? Why do we have such a hard time accepting women as sexual creatures? What is it about a woman owning her sexuality that makes society so uncomfortable? How can we accept so much harm done to women because of this irrational fear that female sexuality is somehow dangerous?

Each and every story in the book is a revelation. Amy Gray looks at sexting, Jane Gilmore writes about the choice of celibacy, Anne-Frances Watson shares her research on adolescent sexuality and Fiona Patten reflects on her life at the crossroad of politics and sex.

This is a book that every young woman should read. Indeed women at any age should read - Jenna Price tells me she's the oldest contributor in the book and her story about maintaining a healthy attitude towards sex even as one ages was rather refreshing. There is hope.

There is nothing wrong with liking sex, with wanting sex, with sending your boyfriend, or your husband, or your partner of any description a sexy selfie if you so choose.

What is wrong is the behaviour of the men involved, in the case here of the pornography ring in particular. Men who choose to break the trust of women, men who have a sense of entitlement, who are disrespectful, men who betray, who behave appallingly.

It would have been interesting to see what the boys of Kambrya College were told; they were hauled into a separate assembly. Indeed interesting to see what the conversation was with schoolboys right around the nation the week the story broke. Let's hope they were all read the riot act, made to realise that the blame here layed square with the men involved. Let's hope they weren't too distracted by legs, or bosoms, or short skirts, or by women who dare to be sexual creatures. Let's hope they listened.

Doing It: Women tell the truth about great sex. Edited by Karen Pickering. University of Queensland Press. $29.95.