When it comes to social media, I have a love-hate relationship. And when I say love-hate, there are more days that I find myself hating it, than loving it, particularly when it comes to Facebook.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
or signup to continue reading
The big argument in favour of having social media is to stay connected with your loved ones, which is not a lie. The platform is a network and therefore there is a cyber link between you and who you want to connect with. But it's also not exactly the truth either.
![Picture: Shutterstock Picture: Shutterstock](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/hU74HdTxzzWB78D7znDAb9/ba4ba138-1aec-4bd3-b83d-4012740a3ee8.jpg/r1006_0_7226_3494_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
Here I am, on the opposite side of the country to many of my loved ones and I'm no more connected with them than if I didn't have Facebook. In fact, I would argue that we are less connected because many put too much faith in the platform for sustaining any sort of relationship.
I know what they dressed up as for Halloween, and how they feel about the meme that someone has just tagged them in, but I couldn't actually tell you how they were, if they were still in the same job, or if there was anything life-changing happening to them at the moment.
They will share a perfectly edited and filtered image of themselves sipping cocktails by the pool, but they would never show anyone how many photos they took to get it.
They will share a post about mental health or body shaming or climate change without a second thought, but the jury is still out on whether it's more than just a token gesture.
It comes down to how much value people place on social media. And how much of what they do hinges on how it will come across in their feeds. But mainly, it comes down to how fake real life is when curated through the eye of social media.
I know Facebook and Instagram have started hiding just how many reactions a post receives, but honestly I think it's too late. Users are already conditioned to posting something as a way of curating a personal brand - whether they know it or not.
Mainly it comes down to how fake real life is when curated through the eye of social media.
They're only ever going to post something they are happy for the world to see - even if it means stretching the truth to do so.
I recently came across a Facebook post wishing someone - let's call him Bobby - a happy birthday. This seems lovely at first glance and of course, it only came with the best intentions. But it was one of those dedication-style posts that, to me, always seems a little bit "look at me, look how much I care", simply because it's in a public forum, and often is about someone who doesn't actually have Facebook.
This particular post spoke about how Bobby is one of the most strongest people on this Earth, who rises up to every challenge that comes his way and is an inspiration to everyone he meets. It made him sound larger than life, like someone who has conquered demons and contributed to making the world a better place.
If you had told me that they were making a movie about how much good Bobby had done, how he had cured cancer, and initiated world peace, this Facebook post would have all but confirmed it. That's how much effort had gone into praising him.
And then you read "Happy Birthday Bobby, because today you are two".
He has has been on this planet for less time than some of my shoes - don't try and convince me that he's inspirational. And what challenges? He has had a very cushy life - as it should be, because he is two and obviously I'm not a monster who wants anything besides cushy for him.
But also, as a two-year-old, he doesn't care about Facebook. He doesn't even know what Facebook is. And thank god, because if he saw what aspirational bullshit his mother was posting on his behalf he probably would end up with self-esteem issues.
If you are going to post something to announce the birthday of someone who doesn't even know or care about Facebook, I would at least like to see someone post something real.
I want to see them congratulate themselves for keeping another human alive for another year, even though he has an affinity for sticking things up his nose and tried to put his fingers in the power socket that one time. Sure, the post would be feeding the personal branding beast but at least I could believe it.
Maybe it's because I'm not a parent. Maybe if I do have kids I will start to feel the pressures of being the perfect social media mother.
But then I see posts such as this one - which, might I note, was accompanied with a gallery of professional photos - and realise that some people just like the attention social media brings.
"Gertie! You have definitely changed our lives for the better and given those around you a smile or two everyday. Happy first birthday! You are a million dollar dog!"
I think it's safe to say that Gertie the schnauzer is one spoilt dog. It's also safe to say that those who actually 'liked' the post probably did so for the cute photos and not because they felt the need to send virtual birthday wishes to a dog.