The chances are you're doing a pretty fantastic job. Picture: Shutterstock
I would be the absolute last person to call myself an expert on parenting. I think I have done a pretty good job in raising my two daughters, now eight and five, but I have definitely made mistakes along the way and will no doubt make many more.
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I have, however, learnt a few lessons along the way.
Here are just some of them.
- No one really knows what they are doing.
- Be aware that many of the most high-profile "parenting experts" don't have children of their own.
- With young children and babies, when in doubt, put them in water. Something about the warm bathwater soothes them.
- Past the age of about four, there are no longer "typical" behaviors and developmental milestones. Each child is unique and will present different challenges and skills.
- Don't stress about the dummy or thumb-sucking.
- They may not sleep consistently through the night in their own bed for a really, really long time.
- If you keep them fed, watered, safe and loved then you are nailing it.
- There is no truer statement than "little people little problems, big people big problems'.
- Every age will feel like the hardest while you are in it, and most of the time you will look back and wish you had relaxed and enjoyed the previous time more.
- You will never need your girlfriends more than when you are a mother. The really good ones will love you no matter what and will always be there to pick you up.
- You will want to stop your kids growing up and be excited to see the person they are becoming at the same time.
- You will never be able to watch movies, TV shows or news stories about children being hurt or mistreated again.
- You will completely fall apart sometimes, and there will be days when you just go through the motions - and that is OK.
- There will be times that you feel so much love that you don't think you will ever be able to let them go.
- You can't control the outside world or shield them from everything. What you can do is give them the tools to handle their reaction to the difficult times.
- A good school is important. Academic results have their place, but much more significant is a school with good core values and zero tolerance for bullying.
- Don't underestimate the value of a snack in improving their mood.
- Take time for yourself. You can't fill from an empty cup.
- Trust your gut. You know your kids better than anyone.
- Let them try different activities. They don't have to be the best at everything - or, in fact, anything.
- As parents, show a united front always. If you disagree on something, discuss it privately. You are a team.
- Christy Kidner is an editorial assistant at The Canberra Times.