Happy Mother's Day: make those memories while you can

The Morrison government has announced a $1.7 billion childcare package designed to lure women back into the workforce. It won't come into effect until July 2022, its focus the high cost of care and other disincentives to work under the current system. Some have called it a step in the right direction, others have said it does nothing to address the rising costs of childcare. Albanese called it "half-baked".

It only seems like yesterday that I was really invested in the whole concept of childcare. Researching what approach I thought best, trying to find a centre that even had some inkling of that philosophy, let alone one that had vacancies. Then there was the whole debate of how many days a small child should be in care, and whether, even if it was only part-time, how you justified working for some paltry amount each week once you had paid for it all. There were so many tough decisions to be made in those days - completely different tough decisions are being made now, even still - but when you're dealing with the whole concept of being a new mother in those early days, it was just so much harder. I had no idea what the right thing to do was. The only thing I know is that my two turned out okay, more than okay, so maybe I got something right.

The one thing that has always riled me about the childcare debate is how there's always been a focus on how important it is to get women back into the workforce. I'm sure economically it is, I don't know about that stuff. But what I do know is that if I had my time again I would spend more time with my young children. Before you know it, they are 20 and 18 and you're left wondering where on earth that time has gone.

I have a dear friend who's just had her first child, beautiful baby Catherine is just seven months old. The new parents have done an admirable job of getting to where they are, sharing care, communicating about what might work best for their family as they embark on this new adventure. I applaud this new generation of dads who see nothing wrong with staying at home and doing their bit, of mothers who are prepared to put their needs forward. It gives me hope that there'll be generations of families who do it just a little better than I think I did.

But when my friend told me the other day that Catherine was going into childcare I wanted to take her aside and say don't do it. Stay at home. Spend days curled up with books and music and art and pureed pear and mushy bananas and playgroups and other mums who have less idea than you do. But I didn't, because if there's one thing I know for sure when it comes to mothering, it's that every mother is entitled to make her own decisions and us other mothers just have to have her back whatever they may be, and whether or not we think them right.

But the other thing I know for sure is that you can never spend too much time with your children. Ever. Which is harder when they reach an age when they don't want to spend too much time with you. It will happen.

Some of my favourite memories from their childhood revolve around those moments we did manage to carve out. Falling back asleep with my first born after her father had gone into work, deep sleep at 9am after a restless night of feeds. Trips to the golf driving range with a toddler after we dropped his sister at school. Explorations of the botanical gardens or our local neighbourhood on brisk Canberra days with homemade muffins to snack on as we lolled about on the grass. School holidays spent making dishes from our very own MasterChef mystery boxes, or plays we'd put on. My children were good company, they still are.

So in the next little while, while I have some part of them still, I'm keen to carve out as many moments as I can. It's just different now. My daughter and I have ducked in to get our nails done. The boy and I head up to the Brumbies. We're still managing some semblance of a summer holiday at the coast. I need to work harder to find more.

For I know my days are numbered, but I know too that even when they have completely gone, we will still find time for mothering.

Happy Mother's Day.