The hidden pain of parents in the pandemic

"I've never met my son's teacher," Kate Hamilton said. She has three children, and the youngest who is now in year 3 at Chapman Primary School, has had a completely different experience from the other pre-COVID two.

"Just the ability to come in and read with a class. It's been a huge adjustment," she said.

But it's even harder for the parents of children who have never known the pre-pandemic school world and who haven't built contacts with other parents. "For a parent who is new to the school, with little kids, they have barely walked into a classroom, so they have no sense of what the school is like. It's very difficult," Kate Hamilton said.

She is president of the school's parents and citizens' association and is frustrated by the difficulty of communicating. She said the ACT government's Education Directorate insisted on vetting all school communications, particularly if the word COVID appeared.

"I know why they are doing it. I don't think they are trying to be over-controlling but as a parent, it's hard to understand why some things are being done," she said.

"We don't feel like we are part of the conversation."

The ACT government responded: "The ACT Education Directorate always encourages schools to communicate regularly with their parent and carer communities. It is important, however, that information provided to school communities on COVID-19 management and restrictions in schools is accurate and in line with ACT Health approved guidelines for schools."

The very youngest children are growing up in a world with masks and without enough hugs, according to the principal of the Orana Steiner School in Weston.

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"Little children don't understand why they can't give the teacher a hug. They have never experienced what we think of as a normal school day," Geoff Fouracre said.

"We know that the health toll of the pandemic has been huge but I think history will show that there's been an equal negative effect in terms of people's mental health."

His school holds festivals to mark the seasons and he feels that their absence is a big loss.

On Friday morning, he held a Zoom call with 45 parents who might normally come into school. He felt this enforced remoteness hit single parents particularly hard emotionally. They need a network of other parents, he said.

"Think of the single mum who is struggling to make ends meet and for whom the daily carpark interactions are really important," he said.

On top of that, he said there were 80 people who wanted to send their children to the school but who were not able to have the usual tour during school hours - only afterwards when it was empty.

"That's like walking through a ghost town. Without children, there's not the sense of life and spirit and joy," the principal said.

Both Mr Fouracre and Ms Hamilton accepted the need for COVID regulations - but they both felt a hidden cost with potential for long-term damage was not being recognised.

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