Being the sole carer to my parents from such a young age really took its toll on me.
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I was only eight years old when my mother was diagnosed with transverse myelitis and spent a year in hospital unable to walk because of the rare neurological condition.
As a result, my father had a nervous breakdown, affected by his depression, anxiety and drug addiction.
Before all this, we were a dandy inner-westie family and with a click of my fingers, everything had changed. By the time I was nine, I was thrust into a parental role and had to take on the responsibility of looking after my little sister and my father.
I was only in grade four myself, but I had to step up to help our family - I knew if I didn't do this our family wouldn't survive. After school, while other kids went home and played, I went home and looked after our home. I had to motivate my dad to shower, shave and clean his teeth, which he wouldn't want to do for weeks on end.
I'm not alone in my experience - 23 per cent of Australian children are living with at least one parent with a mental illness and concerningly, 60 per cent of these children are also at greater risk of experiencing mental health struggles compared to their peers.
My life took a turn for the better when a social worker referred me to the Australian Kookaburra Kids Foundation. Its programs and camps gave me a chance to be a kid again and understand that I wasn't alone.
Meeting those other kids and knowing that they understood what I was going through, really took the weight off my shoulders.
At the foundation programs, children impacted by their family's mental illness learn about mental health, resilience and looking after their own wellbeing. There are also fun activities, which many kids in these situations may not be experiencing in their day-to-day lives.
I have such fond memories of the activities I took part in, such as camps and activity days where I could kayak, experience the snow, be creative and just be a kid - experiences I never would have had outside of these camps.
I also learnt so much about my dad's mental illness and most importantly I learnt it was not my fault, my dad's or my mum's.
I gained a better understanding of what we experienced as a family, and this helped me to keep moving forward in my life. I went on to graduate high school, gain employment, and even study at university - all things that may not have been possible for me if I hadn't gotten the support I needed as a child.
Fast forward to today and I'm now a volunteer and ambassador for Kookaburra Kids - which now supports close to 3000 young people across Australia. It's been a real full circle moment to be able to help children and young people who are going through similar experiences as I did. I see so much of myself in them, and I want to be the best role model for them. They truly push me to be the best version of myself.
This World Mental Health Day, I'm passionate about shining a light on how the right support can help kids to thrive beyond the impacts of family mental illness. New research has uncovered that young people affected by mental health concerns are more likely to open up to their families about their mental health after attending peer-connected programs.
This means they are more likely to continue seeking support and asking for help from their loved ones.
Additionally, the research also reveals an increase in mental health knowledge after attending Kookaburra Kids programs and camps and that having a sense of a shared identity and experiences with their peers helps young people to overcome stigma and seek help. This research is so promising as it shows that with the programs and early intervention, we can help young people overcome the impacts of intergenerational mental illness and live happier lives.
There is still so much we can do. The past few years have been tough on all Australians. Lingering lockdown impacts, employment uncertainty and cost-of-living pressures create stress and trauma for the whole family, not just the parent. Additionally, natural disasters have had significant impacts on the mental health of parents and families.
Now is a critical time to support those in the community and to give them the tools they need to cope and improve their wellbeing.
- Rose Cox is the youth ambassador for the Australian Kookaburra Kids Foundation.
- Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800.