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![Fiona Katauskas' view. Fiona Katauskas' view.](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/bwXFZWxdusWHsaYjdHyRzz/7670d191-11f7-4eec-98d0-b8a5bf1ed2bf.png/r0_0_3625_2038_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
An elasticised pre-knotted tie so tight it almost severs your windpipe. A cheap, nylon shirt that generates a static electricity surge so powerful it singes your body hair and sets off all the smoke alarms. Another cheap bottle of plonk. And aftershave with hints of vinegar and unleaded petrol.
Go on, say it. Don't be rude and ungracious. It's not the gift but the thought that counts.
So if that is true, then wouldn't you prefer a kind thought over a thoughtless present? Or a gift purchased with goodwill, rather than bought in panic simply because tradition dictates it?
I've spent years prodding, pushing and gently proposing an alternative to this annual orgy of wastage. All to no avail. As the guy in charge of putting the bins out I've watched the piles of overflowing plastic and cardboard packaging increase with every Christmas. I'm no Grinch. I love giving gifts to people I love, preferably randomly when I come across something I think is appropriate.
But surely there comes a time when you have to say enough of the waste, the expense and the stress. And surely there comes a time when a resistance movement needs to be formed to combat the annual entreaties from the business community for everyone to get out and spend, spend, spend - and, if you don't, you're somehow being an unpatriotic tightwad.
That time finally arrived last Sunday when I ambushed everyone during an early Christmas lunch with my wife's side of the family. Instead of allowing the 15 or so guests to sit around the table catching up, playing games or trying to remember what they had just been given, I announced that we would be holding a referendum.
As the ballot papers were handed out and various sets of eyes began rolling in horror - "Oh God, here he goes again ... can someone just please shut him up?" - I challenged everyone to recall the gift they had received from my wife and I last Christmas. Blank stares. So the question was put: Continue the tradition of presents or pool the money normally spent and give it to a worthwhile charity?
The smart alec 15-year-old at the end of the table immediately declared himself a registered, tax-deductible charity.
What I had not anticipated was the vigorous and passionate debate that followed. My wife's closest friend declared us the only family she had and, with her voice choking, insisted it was important to her to give gifts. Heads nodded in sympathy and understanding. She also happens to give good presents. Damn, I thought. The referendum was doomed.
But then Anna, my sister-in-law, spoke movingly about her grandmother who had grown up poor in a small Italian village, came to Australia with nothing and never knew the meaning of small change. Somehow that old woman managed to scrounge and save $1000. As she was slowly dying of cancer, she asked that it be given to my sister-in-law as a marriage gift because she knew she wouldn't live to see Anna on her wedding day.
Anna bought a washing machine with that money: "And that machine lasted us for more than 20 years," she said. "You know, I've never forgotten that gift. I used that machine every day and every day without fail it made me think of her generosity. She was in so much pain but she was determined to leave me with a gift that would help make a difference in my life."
There was barely a dry eye in the house. Even the 15-year-old was swallowing hard, although he had just bitten into one of my mother-in-law's biscuits made from her traditional blend of flour, chocolate and instant cement mix.
My sister-in-law's point - which I could never have made as eloquently or movingly - was that the best gifts, the ones that make a difference in our lives, are those given from the heart and not from the heat and pressure generated by the annual frenzy of Christmas gift-giving.
The votes were tallied and giving to charity was a clear winner. The referendum was passed. But suddenly that result no longer seemed important. We decided, instead, that in future everyone should simply do what pleases them. Some will continue to give presents. Others will probably make a donation to a worthy cause.
The only rule was that it should come from the heart. And that, surely, is the only gift that matters.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Have you stopped giving Christmas presents and instead make a donation to charity? What is the most memorable present you have given or received? And let's be truly honest. What is the worst gift someone has given you? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Dreamworld was ordered to pay $2.15 million to the family of a woman who died on a ride in 2016. Cindy Low from Sydney died on the Thunder River Rapids ride along with three other people when a water pump failure caused a raft to overturn. Her husband was given the money on behalf of the couple's two children, who were aged 10 and six when she died.
- Lachlan Murdoch wants to sue Crikey executives for defamation. The Fox News executive has sued the organisation behind the Crikey news website over an allegedly defamatory opinion piece by political editor Bernard Keane.
- Australia's oil and gas lobby has criticised the government's intervention in the energy market. Natural gas company Senex Energy said it would suspend plans for a $1 billion expansion of its Surat Basin developments due to a new mandatory code of conduct for the wholesale gas market.
THEY SAID IT: "The thrill of taking lasts a day. The thrill of giving lasts a lifetime." - Brian Tracy.
YOU SAID IT: Steve reflected on Christmas music and "Christmas creep" where Christmas gets earlier each year.
Susan responded: "I tend to agree with your comments on Christmas songs: too many, too loud, and starting too soon."
But Alan committed the ultimate sin (to Steve anyway) - he was disdainful of Bing Crosby: "Why are we subjected to insufferable songs by Bing Crosby, and others, dreaming of a white Christmas here in Australia where we are more likely to be out fighting bushfires on Christmas Day than dashing through the snow?"
Heather was also wrong, wrong, wrong on Bing (in Steve's mind): "This year Bing Crosby's droning White Christmas is everywhere and I really hate it, along with most common Christmas carols. My favourite has to be 2000 miles by the Pretenders."
Ilia said: "Steve - you have summed up the horror of Christmas creep beautifully. From the first terrifying whiff of Mariah Carey in the coffee aisle, through to the traumatising cacophony sleigh bells in the dairy section. Supermarket muzak sets off my fight or flight response at the best of times."
Stephanie was a lone voice: "I love walking into shopping centres where Christmas carols are playing. It brings back childhood memories. I also love all the corny Carols sung by different artists. They make me smile. I might be on my own here but I love Christmas."
Everybody seemed to wish us a happy Christmas. We wish you the same and, above all, a prosperous and peaceful New Year.