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Welcome to the Hyperbolic Age, a unique era in human history where everything is overstated, overemphasised, overinflated, magnified, amplified, excessively aggrandised and, well, made to look and sound bigger and far better than it actually is.
So let's inject some perspective into this endless Trumpian distortion of reality with our Annual List of the World's Most Overrated Things. And the winners are...
Most Overrated Tourist Destination: Italy. It's mystifying why so many regard as romantic a nation filled with rude waiters, hostile locals, overpriced food and small villages in ruins. Talk about resting on your laurels - this is a country that has achieved, err, not much at all since its powerful days 2000 years ago. Still hasn't finished construction on the Colosseum while another architectural wonder is a tower that ... leans. And those claims that Italy is one of the homes of fashion? Men sporting facial stubble, tight bright pants and shoes with no socks is certainly a good look. If you host children's parties or work in a circus. Yes, the coffee and the tomatoes are passable. But Italy these days? All hype and no hope.
Most Overrated Food: It's supposed to be bright green and luscious. But by the time it ripens it's usually black and mushy inside. Oh, the trendy and far-from-humble avocado. Imagine how good it would be if only it had a tiny drop - nay, even a hint - of flavour. Runners-up: plant-based "meat" products, cauliflower rice, asparagus, lobsters, coconut water and sushi.
Most Overrated Way To Listen To Music: Vinyl records. Aficionados of the turntable platter matter insist records provide a "deeper warmth" and "textural richness". But an identical and far cheaper experience can be enjoyed by placing a bag of instant popcorn in the microwave and relishing all those crackling and popping sounds. Who are these champions of vinyl? The same nerds who queue outside Apple stores for three nights whooping and hollering whenever a new phone/computer or set of ear pods that never properly fit in your ears goes on sale.
Most Overrated Occupations: Economist and Astrologer. Same thing, really. Honourable mention: All those poor souls trapped behind the customer service desks at Jetstar dealing daily with hundreds of enraged customers stuffed around by Australia's worst airline.
Most Overrated Actor: Lower your jaw. Screw your mouth into a frown. Tilt your head occasionally to show your body is still capable of movement. And never - never - smile. Now proceed to play the same character in every movie you make. Ladies and gentlemen, Robert De Niro. How is it possible that this man is regarded as a cinematic great? Movie critics, of course. They love him, but then they also recommend those shaky hand-held Swedish auteur films on SBS where just about everything is out of focus. Unwatchable stuff. Just like much of De Niro's work since The Godfather II.
Most Overrated Author: William Shakespeare. A consistent winner of this category for more than four centuries. Tedious and often incomprehensible. Beloved by sadistic English teachers and quoted by poseurs who want you to think they are intelligent and well-read.
Most Overrated Household Pet: Cats. Ever encountered a single member of this species that wasn't selfish, moody, disloyal and guilty of conducting nightly murderous rampages upon neighbourhood wildlife?
Most Overrated Billionaire: Elon Musk. After promising to save humanity by driving us all to Mars in a fleet of his electric cars, the self-aggrandising Musk has proven you can never trust anyone whose personal wealth exceeds the combined GDP of several continents. His recent stint as the new owner and CEO of Twitter has also shown that he's really just like everyone else. He makes it up as he goes along.
Most Overrated Musicians: The Beatles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've sold more records than any other artist. But isn't it time we called time on the so-called Fab Four? Is it because we've heard their tracks so often they all sound like stale elevator music? Or was it always thus and their only genius lay in creating teenage hysteria, ensuring there wasn't a dry seat in the house by the end of their very quick shows?
Most Overrated Accessory: The "smart" phone. No doubt a handy device for city dwellers. Largely useless to the rest of us in regional and rural Australia continuing to battle patchy and often non-existent mobile coverage.
Most Overrated Place To Live: Inner city suburbs. Anywhere. Nowhere to park. Nowhere to enjoy silence. Populated by coffee snobs and wealthy foodies who regularly post social media photos of their meals at over-priced restaurants because they enjoy powerful mobile reception.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Is Italy really overrated? The Beatles? Just as importantly, what do you enjoy in life that you consider underrated? And speak up all you cat lovers and supporters of avocados and vinyl records. Email your thoughts to echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- The "signs are positive" for China to drop its $20 billion of trade sanctions against Australia, although a breakthrough is yet to occur, Trade Minister Don Farrell said. He added that he would be happy to visit China for talks with his counterpart to try to resolve the disputed issues through discussion rather than arbitration.
- Australia is continuing to monitor the COVID-19 crisis in China, after the United States and other countries said they would require inbound travellers from China to get tested before arrival. The US joined India, Italy, Japan and Taiwan in imposing the mandatory test requirement after Beijing's decision to ease its strict virus policies.
- Police have warned holidaymakers to take extra care at beaches, rivers and lakes because 11 people have died in Australian waterways since Christmas Day. A man drowned at Surfers Paradise in Queensland on Wednesday evening.
THEY SAID IT: "I have great expectations for the future, because the past was highly overrated" - Sylvester Stallone.
YOU SAID IT: Steve opined that Christian groups quietly help the homeless while louder activists do all the shouting.
You responded in numbers.
Frank said: "Yes some 'religious' people do not display much real compassion but there are a lot that do so quietly with generosity."
Amalia said: "I don't deny the excellent services provided by volunteers but I resent the church applying their out-of-touch morals on the rest of us."
Jennifer said: "Institutional Christianity suffers because those who trumpet their 'Christianity' the loudest (eg leaders of various churches, priests, politicians, self-appointed arbiters of public morals) are often those who act in completely unChristian ways in private and in their public decisions. It is no wonder people are cynical."
Maggie describes herself as an atheist but says "I volunteer at a Protestant church op-shop, and I'm impressed by the amount of behind-the-scenes help for those in need that goes on quietly. And while Christians might be in sight at this time of year, don't forget the work of people of other faiths, too."
Phil was thoughtful: "Christianity, just like all other religions, has its bad and good points. So I tend to think that there are many good Christians but some of the organised aspects of Christianity leave a lot to be desired for many, and needs to be called out. I see many examples in society where non-Christian groups help out people in need."
And he concluded: "Many other thoughts but thanks for a thought provoking Echinda!!!"