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As always, the homework is left to the last minute. The assignment: to read Bulldozed, Niki Savva's excoriating inside story of the fall of the Morrison government.
Its publication was awaited with keen anticipation - Savva's commentary during the election campaign was riveting - but it arrived along with summer, whose carefree temptations won out. Far more appealing to be travelling, swimming and tending to the garden than raking over the still-smouldering ashes of the Coalition bonfire.
The resumption of Parliament this week, however, meant it could be put off no longer. And what a wild read it's been.
Plank by plank, nail by nail, the book dismantles its main character Scott Morrison to reveal the character rot that wrought his own destruction and that of the Liberal Party. Savva's bias is unapologetic. The former adviser to John Howard and Peter Costello has long railed against the Liberal Party's lurches to the right and its infiltration by religious zealots.
But it's the reminders of the fatal missteps and destructive self-belief of the former PM which resonate the loudest - the trip to Hawaii during the bushfires, his abusive takedown of Christine Holgate under privilege in Question Time, his constant and complex gymnastics with the truth and the mishandling of the vaccine rollout. All that and the secret ministerial power grab, which bubbled to the surface with the stench of swamp methane after the election.
Let's move on, I hear you say, this is all in the past. Except it's not.
He's still there, up the back, a House of Reps seat warmer for the husk that remains of the Liberal Party. Curiously, apart from Karen Andrews whose fury at learning of those secret self-appointments led her to call for Morrison to leave Parliament, his colleagues prefer to tolerate him in their midst rather than risk losing a by-election.
As long as he remains and the parliamentary cameras occasionally settle on him smirking, scowling and tinkering with his phone, Australians will be reminded of his four years at the helm and their visceral loathing of the man. A loathing so deep it overshadows Morrison's occasional but important successes, including the early response to COVID which no doubt reduced the death toll and kept the economy afloat.
Former PMs are often described as angry ghosts when they offer unwanted advice from the sidelines. The ghost of Morrison is different. He's largely mute but haunts the house with his corporeal presence.
And he's an albatross for the Liberal Party, which might please Labor for whom he's an asset. But that shouldn't please the rest of us.
Healthy democracies need healthy, credible oppositions.
The one we have seems mired in the past, too myopic to see Australia has moved on from its divisive culture wars. And perhaps too stunned after its crushing defeat - the teal steal which stripped it of its moderate influence - to see that as long as Morrison remains, he's a living reminder of all that was wrong about his government.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Will the Liberal Party ever recover from the Morrison legacy? What will it take to win back trust? What do you expect from opposition? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Labor and Liberal state and territory first ministers have signed a joint statement on supporting an Indigenous Voice to Parliament, pledging to back the proposal, counter misinformation and ensure the referendum process runs smoothly in their jurisdictions. The statement, brought forward by Tasmanian Premier Jeremy Rockliff, was agreed by the premiers and chief ministers at a meeting late on Thursday of the Council of the Australian Federation in Canberra.
- Tesla's Model 3 has become the third-biggest-selling car in Australia, recording the best monthly performance for an electric vehicle in the local market. The car sold 2927 units in January, a tally topped by only Ford's Ranger and Toyota's HiLux utility vehicles.
- The XBB.1.5 subvariant, known informally as "Kraken", is the latest in a menagerie of Omicron subvariants to dominate the headlines, following increasing detection in the US and UK. But there have been few cases of XBB.1.5 in Australia so far. And its nickname - a mythical sea monster - may be causing unnecessary fear.
THEY SAID IT: "Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." - Stephen King
YOU SAID IT: Garry wrote about the death of the cinema - a victim of social media, streaming and COVID, whose demise he isn't mourning.
Margaret says: "Never give up, there's a movie house in Brisbane where you can get wine and a cheese platter to consume while watching. How civilised is that?"
Ian says the cinema still lives: "Our little city of 400,000 people still has good cinemas. Some films need the big screen. At present four of these of top quality are now screening."
John from Bathurst says: "Sounds as though the cinema you have attended in recent times is hastening its own demise. At our local establishment (I will admit to the overwhelming odour of popcorn) the experience and magic is still there. I certainly don't want to lose the enjoyment of some excellent recent films. You don't get the same experience on the 75-inch TV."
Lyn remains a fan of the cinema experience: "I love going to the movies. I live in a country town close enough to walk and go one morning a week meeting up with a friend. This does not happen in school holidays as there is rarely anything on I want to see. Our movie theatre has six screens so lots of variety. I do remember when the old one closed and we had none. You seem to remember movies better when seen on big screen and it's definitely more social."
Warwick agrees with Garry, to a degree: "Why go and spend $15 plus to sit in a cinema and put up with any disturbances when for $10 month, you get to see as many movies you want in the comfort of your home? All is not lost for the cinemas. With modifications, cinemas can be converted into restaurant theatres."
Heather says: "I used to love going to the movies, when there were great movies to see. I don't have the huge TV, the technology or the money so those great movies that do come along are not available to me. And I miss choc-tops."
Roger defends the cinema: "One of the many pleasures of life in Bowral, NSW, is the Empire Cinema - winner of NSW Best Regional Cinema for four years. The cinema offers a wide range of movies from blockbusters to the occasional foreign language/arthouse movie and, at weekends, NT Live screenings of plays and opera. At our age, the 4pm screening is perfect where we can sit quietly with like-minded people of similar age and enjoy the movie going experience most weeks. Comfortable seats, friendly staff and excellent choc-tops. What more can you ask for?"