How to avoid emotional fatigue and family meltdowns these holidays

The holidays can be a time of complete dysregulation and the overload of new or different sensory experiences can take a huge toll on families, particularly for children still building their self-regulation skills.

It's really valuable for parents to preserve a few routines over the holidays so their children have some anchors.

For example, introduce some certainty by letting your child know each morning what their day or week looks like. Or, if you're going away, include your child in the decision-making process such as packing their own bag, and build in predictability so they're involved in the changes and feel in control and safe.

If you as a parent don't know exactly how your day will unfold, provide some level of structure and a basic plan. For example, "We're going to drive to Grandma's after lunch, then take the dog for a walk and we're having dinner at a restaurant".

Communication and social skills typically expected during the holidays can be exhausting for any child and especially for those already dealing with anxiety, sensory and behavioural needs challenges.

If your child has additional sensory needs, they might get overwhelmed by the sensory experiences related to the holiday season - new people and interactions, different foods, smells, changing locations or loud noises from family gatherings.

It's always a good idea to make a visual list of tentative plans, including photos of grandma's house, cousins your children haven't seen since last year or a park or restaurant are all helpful for children who absorb things visually better than verbally.

These strategies can help with holiday season sensory overload.

By rehearsing together a scenario before it arises, the child can experience the emotions and scaffolds in their brain, how they will respond when confronted with a situation that might otherwise agitate or upset them, or feel completely unfamiliar.

For example, an expectation to sit and talk to people that the child does not know.

Plan for breaks during the day and schedule downtime between big back-to-back events to bring your child back to baseline.

Some cues are such as being overly silly, not listening and withdrawing.

Children (and adults) need recovery time in between the stress and excitement of activities.

Children strive on structure and predictability.

Even if nothing is planned for the day or the week, let the child know so you're giving them predictability of what is going to happen - or not happen.

It's really important to build in choices, control and decision-making.

It's helpful for parents discuss with their child an "out strategy" so when a situation becomes too much, there's a "code" - "safe" word and a "safe" place the child can say or go to if they need a break from being around people - and they can activate an exit cue if they need to leave.