'Wish I had someone like that': Former Brumbies coach's new business to help others

"When I was a coach, I wish I had someone like that," he grins while reflecting on a 30-year journey, and the next phase of his life.

"I was fortunate to be a coach for that time, but I didn't get through unscathed. It's nice to come out the other end. Coaching has been good to us, but now we've got this brilliant opportunity and I'm really excited about it."

Friend, the former Brumbies coach who was sacked in ugly fashion 13 years ago, is back in Canberra to take on a new challenge and, in a roundabout way, right some wrongs of the past.

After deciding to end his 19-year stint as a head coach, and call time (at least temporarily) on coaching as a job, Friend has launched a new career path.

He went public with his business Performance Friend this week, already picking up work with the Brumbies' women's team as he sets his sights on coaching coaches and helping leaders from all sectors of the community to learn and evolve.

Rugby will form an aspect of Performance Friend, but the 54-year-old only wants to spend a third of his time on the game he loves, another third on businesses and the last third on working to help disadvantaged people.

"Someone asked me what the perfect vision for Performance Friend was," he said.

"Balance is the key, that would be really powerful and satisfying.

"The easiest way to sum it up is working with leaders to unlock their potentials. It could be rugby coaches, it could be business leaders or chief executives, headmasters or parents.

"My first head coaching job was in 2005. When you get in that chair, there aren't many people critiquing what you're doing, or asking questions.

"You're human like everyone else. You do need a critical eye, a critical friend, to quiz you on some of the things you're doing and support you."

Friend could have used similar help in 2011, when his stint at the Brumbies came to an abrupt end just three games into the last season of his contract.

Some of the events that led to his exit still don't sit well with him, despite having gone on to coach in Japan, the Australian sevens team and Connacht in Ireland for the past five years.

But he had no qualms about diving back into Brumbies headquarters to work with women's coach Scott Fava and his staff.

"Canberra has always been home for me and I'm still very proud of the Brumbies," Friend said.

"It wasn't the Brumbies who hurt me, it was individuals. I have no animosity towards the club ... it's actually been great going back and I'm really pleased to see how it's grown.

"I believe it's the best run franchise in the country and the results have shown that over the past few years."

Friend decided his fifth season with Connacht would be the last of his immediate coaching career, opting to take a break and return to Canberra to be closer to his parents and children.

He and wife Kerri took six months off to travel around Europe in a motorhome, actively avoiding World Cup games in France to begin the transition to post-coaching life.

"What a brilliant experience that was. We loved it, managed to get to a lot of the cities and into France during the World Cup, but purposely didn't go to any games," Friend said.

"When you're a coach, every waking moment your mind is thinking about something happening. When you're on a holiday like that, you're worried about where you're going to park and whether the beer is cold at the end of the day."

He says he misses elements of a high-performance environment, but has enjoyed his time away from sport for the first time since the 1990s.

"When I watch a game I get that giddy feeling in my stomach. You miss relationships and want to be involved in the change rooms, but I haven't missed the rest of it," he said.

"This is where the business I'm going into now will grant me that chance to be involved in a team-style environment again. I'm there as a critical friend - the pressure is different."

Friend has seen sport evolve from amateur rugby to the professional era. He has worked as an assistant and as a head coach, as well as testing himself in different countries and different cultures.

"When I started it was very much: this is what we're going to do. Now it's inquiring and trying to get the best out of people through questions," he said.

He also has a desire to ensure coaches across a variety of codes are better supported to help them deal with the day-to-day pressure, the intense scrutiny and the lack of job security.

"We don't have that much. There's a players association, but there's no coaches association. Who looks after the coaches? There's enormous mental anguish for coaches, and I think we can grow there."

Friend started his tenure at Irish club Connacht in 2018 and spent 18 months working alongside new Wallabies coach Joe Schmidt when he was in charge of Ireland's national team.

Schmidt has been appointed to repair the damage done during Eddie Jones' disastrous tenure as Australian rugby prepares for a British and Irish Lions series next year and a home World Cup in 2027.

Friend - who was linked to the Wallabies position and joining Rugby Australia in the aftermath of last year's woes - said Schmidt "would bring balance to Australian rugby."

"He's a very intelligent man, a very calming man who has a great demeanour and a great rugby brain," Friend said.

"You wouldn't get many more qualified coaches in the world ... I think he's going to be a real plus."

Friend knows the intimate workings of Australian and Irish rugby. Rugby Australia is trying to centralise high-performance operations to help resurrect the Wallabies, tapping into some of the systems used in Ireland to get on the right path.

"Alignment [in Australia] needs to happen," Friend said.

"We don't have a mountain of resources here ... we need those at the top of the tree to be aligned. They can still play their own way, but they need to be aligned.

"Those conversations need to happen, and I'm not convinced they've happened previously."

Friend said the key to Schmidt's success would be finding a way to establish a "Wallaby way" to approach the game.

"There needs to be an awareness from all the [Super Rugby] coaches about the style the Wallabies are going to play, we should have a Wallaby way," he said.

"I've seen it since I've come back - there's something different about the Australian DNA and that should be on the rugby field.

"We're uncompromising, tough, rugged ... that's the way we should be playing footy. And that needs to be clear."