Should I stay or should I go? What MAFS teaches us about toxic relationships

At last Sunday night's commitment ceremony, several couples presented a split decision, with one person saying stay, the other leave. It's one of the most ridiculous things about this show, and that's saying something, that couples are forced to stay even if one person wants to go.

I'm wondering how many couples are on their way out after tonight's ceremony - I live for Sundays now - given the exploits of the week.

On Monday, we lost our second couple after Natalie and Collins left weeks ago. Remember them? Me neither.

Despite enjoying a honeymoon at Ulladulla's Cupitt's Estate, intruders Madeleine and Ash said goodbye. Ash had written stay, Madeleine said leave, but Ash changed his mind the morning after and the experts let them go. Bet she didn't see that coming.

I would encourage everyone to not see this as a reflection of the wonderful Cupitt's Estate. I had the good fortune of staying in the luxury pods when they first opened and, even though I was doing a solo stay, it was a terribly romantic spot, with a bath on the deck overlooking the cow paddocks.

And speaking of cows, despite Madeleine's distress, Cupitt's did confirm no bovine were harmed in the shooting of the episode.

Other couples looking a bit rocky include Cassandra and Tristan (both wrote leave) who are mired in the friend zone but by week's end Tristan had come around. Might have had something to do with the fact that Cass's dad asked him if they'd had sex yet.

And then there was Ellie, who said leave, and Ben, who said stay. Didn't they go through a rollercoaster week? They moved into separate apartments, he wrote her a song, she took him back, and then he wrote a list of all the things he didn't like about her. Like she wore make-up and was from the Gold Coast. Doesn't that rule out 69 per cent of all MAFS contestants, ever? We all know she ends up with Tim anyway. Not much of an upgrade.

There was a moment too with Lucinda and Timothy last Sunday, even though they both wrote stay, where Timothy accused Lucinda of throwing him under the bus for agreeing with the experts that he'd friend-zoned her. As they sat back on the couch post session, she asked "Are you okay?" and he said "Don't talk to me. Don't say a word to me". It chilled me to the bone. I knew that tone.

READ MORE KAREN HARDY:

But, and I know how complicated later life relationships can be, Tim seemed to be doing okay this week, after Lucinda's dad made him laugh during the family visit. But then the dinner party happened. Part of me gets it that us people, of a certain age, find those young people so infuriating. Dudes, wait till you have to deal with what we have dealt with. But still.

It's all got me thinking about how many of us stay in relationships that we know aren't working for us. Whether it be after five weeks or 25 years.

While most of us don't stay in relationships because we're chasing social media followers or free tickets into the Melbourne Cup VIP marquee, the reasons we do can be complicated.

According to Psychology Today, there are seven reasons people are not able to break away.

Agony/Ecstasy is all about relationships that have moments of joy that someone perceives makes up for the heartache. I'm thinking Richard and Andie.

Some people wonder Is This the Best I can Hope for? Will no one better come along? Am I worthy? Perhaps this is Cassandra?

Familiarity is all about being with someone whose past reflects your own, but that's all you have in common. Definitely Tim and Sarah.

Protecting Others is all about staying together for the kids. Ridge and single mother Jade? She doesn't want to be hurt again, and she wants the best for her daughter. But I'm warming to him.

Some people are afraid of Being Alone. I'm not going to single anyone out here. People, learn to love yourselves.

Attachment is a hard one too. Here it's all about being in love with someone who's fallen off the rails but there's still that deep caring.

The last Psychology Today reason is Inadequate Resources. I guess Tori and Jack both realise they'll get more social media followers together than they will apart.

I know MAFS is all about the drama. And that it's not really real life.

But if any part of it helps you question why you're staying in a relationship you know is not bringing you joy, then perhaps it's not as bad as you think it is.