My fellow beauty enthusiasts, do you hear that? It's the sound of the final vestiges of the Kennedy legend crumbling around us. Yes, you can dust the chalky remnants of Camelot off your shoulders because it's over. It ended with a whimper when Maria Shriver, niece of John F. Kennedy, recently announced her separation from Arnold Schwarzenegger after 25 years of marriage.
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There is, of course, Caroline Kennedy, daughter of John and Jacqueline, who is apparently still thriving. But she lacks a certain allure, what with her writing and her law credentials and her quiet poise. See, what the world needs now (if I may speak for the world) is more glamour.
The Obamas are charismatic and intellectually superior to just about everyone but they lack one significant component: nostalgia. For, if glamour is to transform from glittering to combustible and properly distract us from politics, it requires a magical ingredient: a sentimental yearning for the past.
Of course, the 1960s were exciting but they were also a bit of a drag - especially for women, save for a few perks, in particular, the clothes and the hair. And it's the clothes and the hair that may explain my dedication of several hours to the completely overblown and soap-operatic miniseries The Kennedys.
I mean, the hair on the Kennedy men's heads wasn't simply thick - the president (Greg Kinnear) and his attorney-general brother, Robert (Barry Pepper), had their hair parted so far over it loomed like a chow chow's tail above their foreheads - high hair for a man. There is a certain audacity to it, isn't there?
Speaking of audacity, may I talk frankly about the casting of Katie Holmes as Jacqueline Kennedy?Her accent, if it can be termed that, resembled the lisping lilt of a toddler, and her range belongs in Dawson's Creek. But, again, her bouncy bob was a trip. Especially since the Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine Middleton, has made natural hair so chic right now. But I'm having none of it, maybe because my own hair is so naturally flat. I have tried to increase its volume over the years with moderate success. Not Working Girl volume, just tastefully thick.
So, if you're interested in a mane of cultivated density, I'm going to recommend that after shampooing and conditioning, you apply a protective serum to wet hair before your blow-dry. Then, once you've blow-dried it, lightly tease the hair just behind your part, near the crown, and on either side of it with a fine-toothed comb. Brush a layer of hair over the teased section to cover up your hair carnage. Finish with hairspray - you want hold and height but you're going for lustrous volume, not a Supremes-style beehive.
As JFK himself said, "those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future", and, my fellow beauty enthusiasts, you don't want to miss that.
